Parental Guidance
by Sadie Dragonfire
Summary: In which the original InoShikaChou doing something profoundly traditional. Much to the distress of their off-spring. (Pre-quel to "This Future Place", InoChouji)
1. Pass the sake

**Parental Guidance**

**Notes**: Takes place roughly five years prior to "This Future Place". So while the main focus is Ino/Chou, some Neji/Shika is going to work its way in the story too. Which means there will be **yaoi**. 

All comments and criticism is much appreciated.

* * *

In retrospect, a derelict bar at two o'clock in the morning was not the best place to have discussed their children's futures. 

"No, no, its perfect," Inoshi was saying with great gusto, "They've known each other since forever and they were teammates and..." He stopped, brow furrowed as he tried to remember the third thing. It had been really good too. 

"I have no part in this," Shikato said, folding his arms on the sake-stained table and cradling his woozy head on them. 

Choumaru let out a rumbling sigh and ate another handful of stale pretzels. Being of greater body mass, he was not nearly so buzzed as the other two and wasn't looking forward to being the one to help them stagger home. 

"Come on, Shikato, I'm sure your boy's had his eyes…eye...whatever, on my girl for a looong time," Inoshi drawled meaningfully, reaching over to punch his friend in the shoulder. 

Shikato grunted at the impact but didn't move. "Shikamaru doesn't like girls," he said, somewhat sourly. 

"All boys go through that phase," Choumaru said, frowning at the now empty basket of pretzels and exchanging it for his sake cup. 

"Exactly!" Inoshi enthused, pumping his fist in agreement with this point and nearly unbalancing himself in the process, "This will be just the thing to loosen him up!" 

"I think you're misunderstanding me," Shikato muttered, but Choumaru was already speaking over him. 

"Inoshi, I thought you and Maiko-san had decided to let Ino-chan chose her own husband." 

Inoshi wilted slightly at that, sagging back into his chair. "I thought we had, too," he said, bracing his elbow on the scarred tabletop, "But Maiko thinks Ino is too picky and troublesome; she turns down every boy who asks us for her hand. Maiko is afraid that if we don't get her a fiancée now, we'll never have grandchildren." 

"She's not even eighteen yet," Shikato protested, lifting his head to squint at his friend through the smoky bar haze. "And with being a Chuunin and all, she doesn't have time for a fiancée." 

"That's part of the problem, isn't it?" Choumaru asked with sudden insight, picking up the sake bottle to pour another round for them, "My wife, too, is very frightened that Chouji will die before he has a chance to build a family of his own." 

A momentary funk settled over the trio as they contemplated the potential tragedies of theirs and their children's chosen profession. Several silent moments passed. 

Suddenly Inoshi jolted up again. "But see its perfect! We'll just engage Ino to Chouji and---" 

"I thought you wanted her engaged to Shikamaru?" Shikato asked. 

Inoshi waved a negligent hand. "Ah, Chouji's fine too." 

Choumaru and Shikato looked like they couldn't decide if they should be offended by that and for what reason exactly. 

"But Inoshi, are you sure your wife would be all right with that?" Choumaru asked cautiously, though he was seriously considering the possibilities. The idea seemed better and better the more he thought about it. Which didn't mean much considering his current state of intoxication. 

"Maiko will be ecstatic," Inoshi assured them breezily, pausing long enough to toss back another swallow of sake, "Besides, who would be a better husband for my cute daughter than the son of one of my two best friends?" 

The so named friends glanced at each other and wondered if now was the best time to remind Inoshi that his wife absolutely despised them. 

"I don't know..." Choumaru stalled, frowning uneasily at his hands, "They're still so young and well..." He stopped and bit his lower lip. A large part of him wanted to leave this particular aspect of Chouji's life up to Chouji himself. The rest of him remembered how hard it had been for him to find a wife. Terminal shyness combined with poor body image had made courtship not an experience to be repeated. He'd been very, very lucky to met and fall in love with sweet Ame. 

Would Chouji be so lucky? Or should Choumaru make the choice now and spare his son the future pain? After all, it wasn't like Ino and Chouji hated each other, and Chouji may well be desperately in love with the girl but too self-conscious to admit to it. Hell, Choumaru could be doing him a favor. 

Or something really stupid. 

A shame he couldn't tell which it was. 

"Its not like they have to be married right now," Inoshi was saying, making expansive hand gestures for no apparent reason, "They can take some time to get used to it and each other. The house isn't ready for anyone else to move into it anyway." 

Choumaru made an 'oh yeah' face as he recalled something. "That's right, Ino-chan is going to inherit the flower shop, isn't she?" Which meant that instead of living in the ancestral Akimichi clan-home, Chouji and Ino would be dwelling in the somewhat cramped apartment above the Yamanaka flower shop. Choumaru wasn't sure how he felt about that. 

Inoshi nodded agreeably. "That and the secret family recipe for sweet bean odango. She might even be willing to share it with Ame-san." 

Choumaru blinked twice. 

Well, what reasonably sane person would argue with that? 

Choumaru snatched up his cup and held it aloof. "To the engagement of Akimichi Chouji and Yamanaka Ino!" 

Inoshi let out a cheer and laid claim to the entire bottle (whatever was left in it at least). 

Shikato stared at them both with the expression of someone watching others commit an act of supreme idiocy. This didn't stop him from picking up his own drinking implement and rather dryly joining the rousing chorus of "Kampai!"

* * *

Ino had experienced a healthy amount of terror in her life as a ninja, but nothing quite equaled the feeling you get when your parents ask if you could "come talk with them for a minute". 

The fact that her mother looked entirely too pleased with life and her father looked slightly hung-over did nothing to help her overall unease. 

"What is it?" Ino asked, sitting down in the armchair across from them. 

Her mother smiled in a way that reminded Ino of Shikamaru's cat stalking a grounded and injured bird. "We have some wonderful news for you, sweatheart," she said and nudged Inoshi meaningfully. 

He jumped slightly. "Ah, yes," he said, smiling despite the headache crease in his forehead, "Well, you mother---and I," he added when his wife's hand tightened on his own, "Have been thinking about your future---" 

Uh-oh. 

"---and given the danger of being a ninja and the fact that your mother and I are getting on in years, we thought it was time to seriously consider who are you're going to marry---" 

"But papa, I haven't met the right person yet!" she said before he'd finished the second syllable. She should have known this was coming; just last week her mother had been getting dewy eyed over baby pictures and that was always a bad sign. "I'm not even dating anyone right now." 

"You had been," her mother said under her breath, but not so low that Ino couldn't hear. Ino gave her a narrow look. 

"That relationship wasn't going anywhere, mother," she said warningly, the stale taste of an old argument in her mouth. 

"He was such a nice, hard-working young man," her mother pushed, "He would have made such a good husband." 

"He had a mole. A gross mole. I refuse to marry someone with a mole," she snapped in growing annoyance. This was about her most recent mission, wasn't it? Near-disembowelment and hospitalization always made parents so unreasonable. 

"Oh, honestly Ino," Maiko said in that particular, frustrated mother voice that made Ino want to trade places with one of the village orphans. "Must you be so superficial?" 

"Yes!" Ino said forcefully, feeling childish and hating it. 

In all truth, Kosakai had been a good boyfriend. Attractive, attentive, sociable, and a pretty decent kisser to boot. But that's all he had been; someone cute to pay attention to her and treat her to dinner sometimes. Good looks aside, after three months it just wasn't worth her time. (He'd also had this knee-jerk asshole reaction to Shikamaru and Chouji that had been downright unacceptable. Damnit, she was the only one allowed to talk trash about her teammates.) 

"And you're not the one who would have had to look at it all the time," she continued, making an expansive hand gesture, "It was right on his chest!" 

Inoshi coughed lightly to remind them he was still there. They ignored him. 

"It's not just about Kosakai-kun either," her mother said, leaning forward intensely, "Its about Touru---" 

"Oh god, don't bring up Mister couldn't-use-a-napkin-if-his-life-depended-on-it---" 

"---and Kenji---" 

"---he clicked his teeth! Even you couldn't stand that---" 

"---and that Hida boy---" 

"---I don't even want to think about him---" 

"And who ever else you've been casual with without telling us, " her mother said right over top of her protests, "You play with relationships like it's a game. Why can't you just find someone to stay with?" 

Ino sat stiffly, lips pressed tightly together. "Because," she said. 

Because it **was** a game. Because while having a boyfriend was fun, going on missions and spending time with her friends was still far more important. Because she just wasn't ready for the lifestyle change that marriage would require. 

And lastly, because none of those boys were Sasuke. 

Ino no longer wanted Uchiha Sasuke himself---the whole 'runaway from the village and nearly get her teammates killed' thing was such a turn off---but she would be perfectly happy with the closest possible equivalent of him. In that vein, all her ex-boyfriends had been dark haired, dark eyed, and handsome, usually with that subtle aura of 'cool and confidant' that made the real Sasuke so appealing. 

It wasn't her fault that they weren't enough like Sasuke to hold her affections. 

"Well, it doesn't matter now," her mother said with a trace of smugness that had Ino's danger alert system screaming, "Because your father and I have a discussed it and come up with the best possible solution. Tell her, honey." 

Distracted from his forehead rubbing, Inoshi looked momentarily startled. Finding himself pinned by the gazes of the two women, one smug and the other annoyed, he shrank slightly into the couch. 

"Ah, yes, well." He cleared his throat. "I've arranged a marriage for you." 

"You did WHAT??" Ino shrieked, springing to her feet as if someone had put a hot coal under her butt. "You-you promised me that I could choose my own husband!! How could you do that to me??" 

"Because you haven't chosen!" her mother yelled back, rising from her own seat so as to battle properly. 

"Because I haven't found the right one yet!! It---jeez, we were just talking about this, were you even listening to me??" 

"You're the one who's not listening, Ino-chan!" Maiko said with the full benefit of her substantial vocal range. Inoshi covered his face and considered sneaking away to get some aspirin. "You have a responsibility to---" 

"The village, to my fellow ninja!" Ino yelled. 

"---_This_ family! As its only child---" 

"Don't you _dare_ blame that on me, you had plenty of chances to---" 

"----_you_ have the duty of getting married and having children---" 

"I am not some baby-making machine!!" 

Both were screaming into each other's faces, words overlapping to the point of being indecipherable and arms flailing about as if they were performing some exotic dance. The man of their lives had assumed an expression of stark terror when he realized that someone was going to have to break this up eventually and the only available 'someone' was himself. Ino wasn't in any state of mind to notice his predicament or care even if she had. She was so angry, her body was shaking with the force of it, hands balled up until her knuckles turned white. This had to be the worse thing they had ever done to her! 

In recent memory, at least; she was vaguely certain there was an incident from when she was seven that had been particularly evil on her parents' part. 

Between the two of them, every subject from the bindings of tradition to the social/economical status of the Yamanaka household to the time when Ino was three and she broke the microwave while using it to 'punish' one of her dolls, was covered. All in volumes that had neighbors two blocks down wondering what that noise was about. 

There was a momentary pause when Ino was forced to breathe again and her mother demanded into the suddenly silence, "Don't you trust your father to chose you a good husband?? I'm certain he has found you the perfect match!" 

"You mean you don't know who it is?" Ino asked, aghast. Her mother had the grace to look slightly embarrassed. 

"Well, I was so eager to share the good news that I didn't bother to ask," she admitted in a much quieter tone. 

Like two puppets connected to the same string, Ino and her mother turned to look meaningfully at the now decidedly pale Inoshi. 

Taking a deep breath and forcing himself to sit straight like the fearless ninja he was, not the cowering dog he currently felt like, Inoshi told them.

* * *

The chip paused in its ascent to Chouji's mouth. 

"I'm what to who?" he asked disbelievingly. 

Big hands resting on the glossy surface of the breakfast table, his father said carefully, "I know it's sudden, but the marriage won't happen right away. You'll have plenty of time to prepare for it." 

Chouji continued to stare at him, the words 'engagement', 'me', and 'Ino' bouncing around inside his head and refusing to connect with each other. The chip completed the journey to Chouji's mouth and was soon joined by a handful of its fellows, as he tried to settle his emotional duress with the tried and true method of eating something tasty. 

"And I'm sure that if, in a couple months, things aren't working out we can discuss calling it off with her family," Choumaru continued, sounding very much like he was trying to reassure a panicky animal, "But you need to give it a chance first. I really think this will be good for the two of you and the clan." 

"Wait, wait." Chouji waved his hand and licked salt off of his lips. "Are you saying that Ino, _Ino_, wants to marry..._me_?" 

Obviously his father was profoundly mistaken. Chouji knew what Ino wanted in a man and it was the exact opposite of everything that Chouji himself was. Possibly on purpose. There was no conceivable way she would have even the smallest interest in marrying him. She wouldn't even look at him sidewise just as boyfriend material; it was completely unbelievable that she would----- 

Chouji crashed that train of thought and set fire to the remains. He needed to stop depressing himself so early in the day. 

"No," his father said, seeming to deflate slightly, "But I'm sure she will. Once Inoshi has told her about it, that is." 

Ah-ha, that explained...wait! 

"You mean she doesn't know yet?!" Chouji was unable to keep the horror out of his voice. Knowing Ino, she going to freak and he'd be one of the people to bear the brunt of it. He began scanning the counters of the large, well-stocked kitchen, looking for something to either eat or defend himself with. Ideally both. 

"Well, no. It was something Inoshi and I---arranged last night." The expression on his face indicated there was much more to that conversation than Chouji probably wanted to know about. "Come now, I know she'll be ecstatic!" 

Chouji stared. 

"---she'll get used to it." Smile more sheepish than reassuring, Choumaru escaped his son's incredulous stare to get a glass from the cupboard. "Its not like she hates you or doesn't know you, Chouji. That's better than your grandpa's marriage was." He grinned in the act of pouring juice and said in a much more jovial tone, "Hey, remember that story he told us about the angry bear and how your grandma----" 

"Dad," Chouji interrupted, "This is completely different. We work together and---" he stopped and made a helpless gesture at his father's turned back, unable to articulate why this was such a bad idea. Well, beyond the fact that Ino would probably kill him before letting any kind of wedding take place. "Jeez, what did mother say? Or does she not know about this either?" He tried to scoop up another handful of chips only to discover that the bag was empty. He frowned at in affront. 

"No, no, I told her," His father clarified quickly, looking back over his big shoulder, "She really didn't say anything though...just shook her head, told me she loved me, and went to work." 

"That's no help," Chouji muttered, getting up to throw away the chip bag. At least she wasn't actively encouraging this act of stupidity; hopefully he could talk to her later and between the two of them change his father's mind. 

"But I know your mother agrees with the engagement too," Choumaru said with the sort of certainty that is faked for the benefit of others. Chouji gave him a narrow looked that was missed as Choumaru downed his drink then made a beeline for the fridge. "What do you want for lunch?" he asked in a ditch effort to change the subject. 

"Father--" 

"I can make tempura or okonomiyaki," the older man continued right over top of him, already rummaging around inside of the refrigerator, "Or hey, katsu-udon!" 

Chouji sighed and looked up at the ceiling in dismay, wondering if he could make it collapse on top of him by force of will alone. "All three. I might as well get one last good meal in before Ino comes for my throat."

* * *

Steam filled the Nara family bathhouse, wafting and curling around Shikamaru's body as he lowered himself into the hot water with an explosive sigh. All his muscles were sore and achy, abused from his latest mission, and bruises were starting to darken the skin of his shins and forearms. He stared at the marks in surly disgust. 

Damn promotion. How the hell had he been talked into applying for jounin rank? No, worse, how the _hell_ had he managed to actually achieve said rank? 

Appearantly, failing took a lot more effort nowadays then it did back in the academy. Bah. 

Shikamaru settled himself against the wooden edge of the tub, eyes fluttering closed as the intense heat forcibly unknotted his muscles. Within moments he'd relaxed to the consistency of a limp rag. Shifting into a good position so that he wouldn't sink into the water and drown himself, Shikamaru began the slow, soothing drift into unconsciousness. 

He hadn't gotten very far when loud, incised feminine yells sounded from outside the bathhouse. Familiar yells that boldly entered the changing room with no concern as to the state of anyone inside. 

Shikamaru's eyebrow twitched. 

A second later, the sliding door between the changing room and the bathhouse itself was flung open, allowing Ino's rant to be heard in all its soprano glory. 

"---_utterly_ insane! No respect at all for _my_ desires and wishes! What is this, twenty years ago? Times have changed damnit and what the fuck is up with not keeping to their promise----" 

Shikamaru watched silently as Ino paced back and forth in front of the sunken bathtub, arms waving chaotically about her head and cheeks red with fury. He got maybe one sentence out of every three and she kept changing them in the middle. Slowly, carefully, he slid along the wood until he could reach the small towel folded up near the edge and submerge it over his crotch. Ino was not aware enough of her surroundings to realize that there was a naked man not fifteen feet from her, but he didn't want to deal with the hassle when she did clue in. Adequately covered, Shikamaru leaned back to wait. 

The rant lasted some time. Over the course of it, Shikamaru was able to ascertain that her parents had arranged for her to marry Chouji and she was, obviously, not pleased with the prospect. 

For all her fuss though, it seemed she was more upset over the engagement itself than whom she was engaged too. Shikamaru mentally shuffled through the various things he knew and had observed about his friends and former teammates, compared it to how she was acting now and reached a conclusion. 

Part of that conclusion was that he wanted as little part of this as possible. Another part was the realization that the latter desire had next to no to hope of becoming reality. 

Some days, he really wished he could live in the mountains as a hermit, with only himself and a cat to worry about. 

"---then mother was just furious that my father wanted my future husband to be an Akimichi and went off on father herself and neither of them would listen after that, so I just had to leave and Shikamaru you have to know how to---" 

Ino turned to him and abruptly cut off, mouth dropping open in shock. He glared irritably at her and held the towel down with water-wrinkled fingers. 

"SHIKARMAU! Why are you _naked_?" 

The life of a hermit was sounding really nice about now. 

END part 1 


	2. Seeking advice

Part 2

A fat fly buzzed lazily in the warm, hay scented air of the barn, showing excessive interest in Ino's blonde locks. Annoyed at the noise and the world in general, Ino slipped a shuriken free of her holster and threw it at the insect.

The resulting thud of shuriken—and fly—striking a post, made the deer Shikamaru was holding jerk her head out of his grip.

He gave Ino a withering look. "Go be angry somewhere else," he said, catching the doe by the muzzle to hold her still again. "You're making me work harder."

"I'm angry because you aren't helping," Ino said with a frown, leaning back against the walls of an empty stall. Despite her words, she was much calmer than when she had arrived, finding that screaming and kicking at a naked Shikamaru for being indecent in front of her did wonders for her state of mind.

"What ever gave you the idea that I would be helpful?" he demanded grouchily, holding the deer immobile against his chest long enough to spread iodine on the scrape along her jaw. "I must be giving off the wrong impressions recently."

Ino rolled her eyes and picked up a piece of straw to twine around her fingers. "Stop being so dramatic, this isn't about you. Besides, I'm the one who has to deal with being engaged against her will."

Titling his head to the side, he favored her with a look of weary disgust. "And I'm supposed to do what about this?"

"Give me some advice, damnit," she growled at him, fighting back the immature desire to stamp her foot and scream at him for being an insensitive bastard. Not only would such accusations defeat the purpose of coming to him the first place, he would probably just agree with her in that infuriatingly indifferent way of his and then go take a nap.

It's no fun yelling at people who don't react to it.

"Ch, too much hassle."

"Shikamaru! Do you really want me to spread that story about when you were six---"

"Fine, fine!" he yelled before she could say more, "So bossy. Wait until I'm done with this idiot." Releasing the doe with a gentle swat to her nose, he began packing up the medical supplies. The bottles of iodine and rubbing alcohol fit neatly back into the labeled box he'd taken them from, cotton balls and unused bandages tucked in between them and Shikamaru, of course, took longer in the process than should be humanly possible.

She folded both arms on top of the stall wall and watched his little show, one leg bouncing with impatience. After returning the box to its shelf on the far wall, Shikamaru joined her, hoisting himself onto the stack of hay-bales in the next stall and sprawling across the top one.

"At this point," he drawled, folding his hands behind his head, "Arguing with your parents is pointless. They've decided what's right for you and the more you scream, the less they are going to listen."

"I can't just stand there and let them ruin my life!" Ino protested before he could continue, feeling the irritated certainty that he wasn't listening to her either.

Shikamaru glared at her sidewise through narrowed eyes, irked at her interruption.

"I said 'don't argue with them', not 'agree to everything they say'. Don't be so difficult." He sighed and the dark look was replaced with his usual aura of weary grumpiness. "Let them know you are unhappy by acting that way, not by shrieking at them until they go deaf. Be depressed and withdrawn enough for them to confront you about it, then tell them again I why /I you feel this way. This is assuming that the shock of your silence doesn't kill them first."

She gave him a dirty look, even though the wheels were already turning in her head. "I'm not that loud, Shikamaru."

"Right," he said, adopting an expression one would normally attribute to having just stepped in something unspeakable, "Look, for now be so miserable about having an arranged marriage that they will eventually give up forcing you." A tabby cat jumped up onto the hay bales and rubbed against Shikamaru's feet. "That's how I usually get out of doing useless things."

"You don't act miserable, you just groan about it until no one can stand the incessant bitching," she said, pulling out another length of straw to dangle in the cat's face.

"That too," he yawned, rolling onto his side. "Look at it another way; with you being engaged, its not like your mother can keep nagging you to find someone."

Ino brightened briefly at the prospect, but it was quickly dashed. "But it also means I can't I date /I anyone else either."

"...that's a problem?"

She gave him a dirty look and he returned it, then mellowed. Half-closed dark eyes regarded her seriously. "Your parents really don't want you unhappy, Ino."

The cat caught the straw in its mouth and began chewing on it. Ino tugged the end she held, not looking at Shikamaru. "I know. And that makes it worse."

He grunted, resting his cheek on the curve of his arm and closing his eyes, probably to sleep. Along the rows of stalls, the few deer that were inside huffed as they tore mouthfuls of alfalfa from bins secured to the walls. Bird song drifted in from the thrown open double doors and the thick dust of hay and animal dander danced in the sunlight.

It wasn't, she decided after a while, an awful idea. Except that silently moping in the hopes her parents would realize that they were being tyrannical monsters wasn't Ino's style---iIt didn't feel like a protest unless she was declaring it from the top of her lungs. Still it would probably work, as Shikamaru's plans were wont to----regardless of how astonishing that fact was at times.

(The incident from two years ago, which had resulted in half the commercial district being shut down for three weeks, was a prime example of that. Not so much in how it at been carried out----in itself brilliant enough that it was now being taught as part of the academy curriculum under the "fun things to do with explosives and subterfuge" category----but because Shikamaru had managed to completely avoid any and all association with the event; even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. If Ino ever got arrested, she was going to have Shikamaru as her lawyer.)

Beyond the questionable method of parental manipulation, Ino was more hurt than she cared to admit out loud. She remembered being very young when an older Uncle had said "Such a pretty girl! All the boys will be lining up for this one." And her father had picked her up and replied, "Let them; our Ino is only going to pick the best for herself!" The pride she'd felt over hearing that was the exact opposite of the gut-rolling, tear-inducing anger she currently felt over finding that no, they didn't trust her with that decision at all.

Not to mention the fact that it was the first time in a decade that her father had actively gone against her wishes. It always made life so much more difficult when her mother got the upper hand in the "make father do what I I /I say" department.

"Do you really hate Chouji that much?" Shikamaru's low voiced question broke into her broody contemplation of the dust moots. Ino dropped the straw in surprise. The tabby cat favored her with a glare of feline affront before jumping to the floor and stalking off, tail held high.

"What?" she asked, staring in bafflement, "What does Chouji have to do with----"She stopped and pressed the heel of her hand against her forehead. "I mean I besides /I being the one I'm supposedly engaged to."

Shikamaru somehow managed to leer without actually opening his eyes. It made Ino want to whack him purely on principle.

"Of course I don't hate Chouji!" she groaned, running a hand through her hair, "But there's a big difference between liking someone as a friend and wanting to marry them. Besides, I bet he doesn't want to marry me either."

The silence that followed was laden with far too much significance for Ino's comfort. She blinked twice and then pointed an accusing finger at Shikamaru.

"I Stop /I that!" she demanded. "Don't go implying stupid stuff!"

He moaned like an old man trying to walk with the worse case of arthritis ever seen and turned over onto his other side, giving her his back. "Go home, Ino, you're wearing me out."

"Breathing wears you out."

Ten minutes after Ino finally left----by the front door, and a good fifteen minutes later than Shikamaru would have preferred, as his mother had stopped her in the foyer for a discussion of things distressingly female----Chouji arrived on the Nara clan doorstep with a bowl of left-over Katsu-udon and an expression of stark terror.

Shikamaru let him in and they had a manly bonding session over noodles. Chouji appreciated the comforting presence of a good friend and Shikamaru appreciated someone who didn't mind if he dozed off in the middle of a conversation. Chouji went home sometime later, if not entirely happy, at least more relaxed about the situation he found himself in.

When Asuma came over half an hour after that for a visit, Shikamaru decided he'd had enough company and barricaded himself in his bedroom until his former teacher gave up and went away.

The Next Day

"Go somewhere else, Inoshi. I'm not letting you hide here and I'm not bringing you beer," Izumo flatly informed the man who was trying to become one with the wall of the records office. That in itself was bad enough; the fact that he insisted on doing it right next to Izumo's desk was completely unacceptable.

"Please, just a couple more hours," the tall blonde said desperately, scrunching closer against the wood paneling, "My wife and daughter are being very I silent /I right now. Its frightening."

Izumo wrinkled up his nose in confusion as he stamped his way through a stack of requisition sips at high speed. Then he made another face, this time in disgust, over the oft-lamented fact that he was using his advanced ninja skills to do paperwork. It was almost enough to make him apply for jounin rank again, if he didn't think that Hokage-sama would I still /I have him and his partner shuffling papers all day.

"Isn't that a good thing?" he asked, moving the stack of slips into a wire tray, which was in turn put on the floor and kicked half way across the room. It flew over the age smooth wood without loosing a sheet and was caught by a young chuunin that had been roped into filing for the day.

"No, no," Inoshi said, shaking his head rapidly, "You don't know women; it's worse when they are quiet. It's like this big massive I thing /I hanging over your head, ready to drop on you at any minute."

Izumo didn't hear anything past 'you don't know women'.

"Hey!" he shouted, lunging to his feet, "Just because I live with the guy and we work together and go out together all the time and never seem to date anyone doesn't mean----"

He stopped.

Inoshi stared, in much the same way you stare at a wildly barking dog that had, until five seconds ago, been calmly sleeping at your feet.

Izumo awkwardly cleared his throat and sat back down. "Still, I don't see why you can't just ignore them." He picked up a scroll and broke the seal on it, using the end of a brush to help him scan through the contents.

"It only gets worse if you do that," Inoshi said, leaning the edge of Izumo's desks and knocking a stack of files off kilter. "They get I quieter /I . And then they start I not /i looking at you. But when you ask them what's wrong, they just smile at you in that....that sincere way and say 'nothing honey, I'm fine' but then they I sigh /I like its----"

"Inoshi, stop doing that to my cup," Izumo said, eyeing the 'I love being a Ninja!' coffee mug Kotetsu got him for his last birthday that Inoshi was currently re-enacting his marital difficulties with. At least, Izumo assumed that the mug sticking its handle up at the ceiling and trotting down the edge of the desk was supposed to represent Inoshi's wife in a snit.

Stiffly, Inoshi returned the mug to the coffee colored ring on the desk he'd taken it from and brushed off his pants. "Well, trust me its bad," he said, pretending that he didn't know he'd been acting like an idiot a minute ago.

Putting down his writing tools, Izumo got ready to carry Inoshi out of the building bodily. The man wasn't on duty or even assigned to that sector, and therefore had no business being there. Izumo didn't need the distraction of someone just taking up space.

Before he could get a good hold on Inoshi, unexpected salvation appeared in the shape of a stocky young redhead carrying a records request form.

"Chouji!" Inoshi cried in greeting, rising so quickly from the desk that several items were knocked to the floor. Izumo glared hatefully at his back.

The young Akimichi froze in the doorway, eyes wide, and looked ready to bolt. "Inoshi...um, Inoshi-san..."

Inoshi laughed, obviously in a much improved mood and ambled across the room to put a companionable arm around Chouji's shoulders. "No need to be so formal! We'll be family before too long!"

The boy's fair complexion paled even further. Izumo peered at them over the scroll he had been reading, unable to resist the urge to watch the encounter.

"Um," Chouji said uneasily, "That isn't really even confirmed yet, is it? I mean, there hasn't been an engagement ceremony or---or even a proper introduction or..." The boy's brow furrowed, obviously trying to think of something else to bring up.

Izumo tilted his head and listened closer. A perspective marriage? Interesting.

Inoshi waved off the protest. "You two know each other well enough that there is no need for a first meeting," he said easily and tightened his arm around the adolescent's shoulders, "As for the ceremony..."

He paused and looked thoughtfully at the ceiling. Chouji went taut with tension, eyes shifting wildly to the sides in search of an escape route. Whatever he had been planning to accomplish by bring up an engagement ceremony that certainly wasn't it. For once, Izumo was glad his father had always been too busy to make his life miserable with the same joy and effort most other parents exhibited.

"Well, no need to be so formal this early," Inoshi said jovially, freeing his arm to ruffle Chouji's red-orange spikes affectionately, which earned him an exasperated look he completely missed. "Since it will be at least a year before the actual wedding. But an informal family dinner would be a good idea. Meeting together would give us all a chance to um, get used to the arrangement."

Several expressions competed for space on Chouji's face and he nearly tore the requisition form to pieces fiddling with it. Finally, determination won out over the other emotions. "Inoshi, could we talk privately?"

The older man---who wasn't much taller than the seventeen year old and considerably lighter in build----sobered some and nodded, gesturing with his head to indicate they should go outside. Waving shortly at Izumo, who was mildly disappointed to lose his show, Inoshi followed Chouji from the records office to the exit at the end of the hall.

A large tree grew tight against that side of the building, the branches blocking a third story window showing signs of having been used as alternate way out and the high arching roots were worn smoothing in places from being treated as benches.

Inoshi rested one foot in the shallow dip of one of the roots, folding his arms across his leg and leaning his weight on it. Chouji stood uneasily near him, trying to settle his thoughts into something he could create a mature sounding conversation with.

Unfortunately, now that he had Inoshi's full attention, he wasn't entirely sure what he'd been intending to say in the first place. Surely he'd had some great speech planned about he cared deeply for Ino as a friend and former teammate, and was in fact very flattered that the Yamanaka family had considered him as a good husband for their daughter, but despite this his father had made an obvious mistake in agreeing to the engagement since he and Ino were so incompatible that the relationship could only end in disgrace and trouble for both families.

But when Inoshi looked at him encouragingly, all Chouji could say was "This is really bad idea."

One golden eyebrow lifted in a way that he knew he'd seen Ino use and Chouji found himself babbling on in a conditioned response to the Yamanaka "Oh, I really /I ?" look.

"Cause I know this can just go wrong in so many ways and Ino can't be happy with this and I know that you know that an unhappy Ino is very hard to put up with and there are too many problems and plans to consider and Shikamaru told me I should just be calm and honest so I'm going to tell you right now that I would be an I awful /I husband cause I haven't even dated and----"

Inoshi slapped a hand over his mouth and the stream of words was cut off. Chouji stared over the strong hand with mournful eyes.

Smiling in an amused, but sympathetic way, Inoshi said gently, "I've known you since you were five, Chouji, and believe me, you'll be a fine husband. But yes," he sighed deeply and removed his hand, "You aren't ready for it and neither is Ino. You're both very young, with a great deal more important things on your minds."

"But why..." Chouji started, but Inoshi motioned for him to wait.

"I'll be honest," he said, taking his foot off the tree and leaning closer to Chouji to speak in a low voice. He didn't try to put his arm about Chouji again though, which made the adolescent relax a little. "I didn't want to arrange an engagement, but Maiko...well, she feels for Ino what any mother would feel for an only child who puts itself into danger willingly and I don't disagree with the sentiment. In the end, there isn't anything any of us can do to force the two of you into something you don't want. If, in a month or so, you both agree that there is no chance of a stable partnership, the whole idea can be discarded. However I, and I know your father and mother as well, would like to see you give it a chance."

Inoshi winked cheerfully despite Chouji's doubtful expression. "Hey, at the absolute worse, it just means you'll get to spend more time with Ino! She's your friend at least, right?"

"Not after she kills me to ensure there's no chance of a marriage ever happening," Chouji said dismally, to which Inoshi only laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. He was being at least half-serious, but Chouji was surprised to realize that the tight, nervous feeling in his chest had faded somewhat.

It did make him feel better to know that he wasn't going to be stuffed into a wedding kimono and dragged up before a priest tomorrow. Traditional engagements did normally include a period for the couple to get to know each other---surely they had plenty of time to convince their respective families what idiots they were being.

Now, if only he could do that without encountering a righteously annoyed Ino in the mean time...

"Anyway, now that's settled, we still have to arrange a get together!" Inoshi said, reaching back to idly smooth his long tail of wheat-blonde hair, "I'll speak with your father this evening and figure out a time."

"Um," Chouji said uncertainly.

"Don't worry, we'll come up with something convenient for everyone," Inoshi assured him before checking the angle of the sun. The Yamanaka paled slightly. "Ah, I should get um, get going. But! Whenever you need to talk about anything, I promise that I'll make the time for you!" He grinned eagerly at the prospect of discussing masculine difficulties with another male.

Chouji was reminded that Inoshi had grown up with a lot of sisters.

"...I'll remember," Chouji promised in a tone that said "not a chance". Inoshi didn't notice.

"Very well, take care!" Giving Chouji a solid whack to the back---which would have been enough to stagger him if he weren't so large----and jogged off on his own duties. Or avoidance of duties; whichever.

Rubbing the side of his head, Chouji let out a long sigh and went back inside to collect the two-month old mission log that had been his reason for coming to records in the first place.


	3. The issue of gossib

**All that was stated in Part one is true in part three**

_In which there is a mission, secrets are hard to keep, and Chouji decides that cooking is easier then relationships. _

All comments, criticism, and overripe fruit thrown at high volocities is much appreciated.

-

It was hot and muggy inside the greenhouse, even with a fan blasting at full power to loosen up the thick air. Ino sat on the marginally cool cement floor in shorts and a tank top, arms dirty to the elbow as she replanted a tray of morning glories into terra cotta pots.

Repotting was a dirty, tedious, tiring task even when the weather was moderately tolerant, but at the moment Ino didn't mind. It gave her a chance to be alone and make sense of the noise inside her head.

It had been barely three days since the beginning of her "obedient but depressed daughter" routine and her mother had decided, in classic thunder stealing fashion, to go about acting as though _she_ were the one making a sacrifice by 'allowing' her daughter to marry 'below her station'. The melodrama combined with the indirect insult to Chouji was enough to make Ino want to gnaw on something in frustration. But the fact that her mother felt the need to counter Ino's actions was something she counted as a win for her side. She might be making some progress in this after all. Now if only her father would stop skulking around them like they were going to bite his head off then all would be well.

Oh but, _Chouji_-Ino scowled and crumbled up a clump of potting soil.

Chouji was avoiding her. Not that she'd had the chance to go actively looking for him, but when you work at the same place as someone and associate with the same people, four days without seeing them is highly suspicious; _especially_ considering the situation. It was enough to make her wonder what Chouji's part in the whole fiasco was. If he was just an innocent bystander, then well and good, but he'd somehow done something - anything - to make their fathers think up this bright idea...

Her mouth curved in a toothy grin as she gave the soil an extra firm push around the base of a flower.

Was he ever going to regret it.

She had finished up the last of the morning glories and was reaching for a tray of violets when the chime of the doorbell stopped her. It came from the side door, so it was personal business and not a customer making a pick up.

Wiping dirt grains off her hands, Ino stood and crossed the gritty cement on bare feet. Inside, the shop was cooler than the green house, the lights low to save power since they were currently closed to walk-ins.

"Coming," she called out as she around went a display of nasturtiums to the narrow side door that led into the alley. Turning the tarnished brass handle, she opened the door enough to peer out through the crack.

A chuunin she knew only by appearance came to attention and held out a sealed scroll. "Yamanaka Ino, a mission from the Hokage," he said solemnly.

Ino made an annoyed sound in the back of her throat. Well, there went her day off. "Thanks," she said, pulling the door open all the way and accepting the scroll, "Anything big?"

He lifted one shoulder in an indifferent shrug. "Wouldn't know, I didn't read it. You're to start as soon as possible." He gave a polite bow and took off, a casual "good luck" left in his wake.

Ino muttered a farewell and kicked the door closed with her foot, already sliding her thumbnail under the wax seal. The details inside where crisp and to the point; she was to retrieve a statue containing a set of computer disks from a noblemen's house in a neighboring village. The statue's current owner didn't know what inside so it shouldn't be too heavily guarded, but she needed to act quickly. The estimated time for the mission was four days, with a note to call for assistance the moment it was needed.

Ino felt a little surge of excitement as she ran up the stairs to the small apartment she shared with her family. Though she had been looking forward to having the time off, this was the first time she'd had reason to leave the village in months. A shame she wouldn't have the chance to go shopping or sightseeing, but it would be nice to get away and focus on things purely work related. It might even help her mother get over herself.

Assuming something dangerous didn't happen to increase the woman's resolve to have her popping out babies within a year.

In her room, Ino pulled a pre-packed bag from under her bed and changed into her chuunin uniform. The pack contained all the weapons, medical supplies, nonperishable rations, clothes, fire starting kit, non-scented soap, and money she might need for her mission. All useful, but nothing so invaluable that she would hesitate to discard it should the need arise.

She spent a few more minutes locking up and leaving a note for her parents, then took off to the Eastern gates out of Konoha.

-

Secrets are tricky things in a ninja village.

Ninja are, after all, extremely good at discovering them. It's their profession and to many, their favorite pastime. It's not enough to be merely good at keeping secrets; you have to be good distracting from them, be cunning and glib with lies and partial truths to lead your enemy on false paths. Be closed mouthed and slip from your questioners like water, or speak with so many words that the facts are securely hidden in nonsense. Some shinobi are so used to hiding that even the most inane aspect of themselves was tucked away under layers of meaningless social niceties. The truth is also a tricky thing in a ninja village.

In the days before her mission, Ino had said nothing of the engagement to anyone other than Shikamaru. But also she hadn't tracked down and silenced all other bearers of the knowledge - namely, her parents and members of the Akimichi clan - nor had she spread any clever and misleading rumors to confuse the populous should word of the arrangement get out.

It simply hadn't occurred to her that anyone would care.

While certainly not stupid, Ino could be a little oblivious at times.

So when a chuunin rank lackey shared the interesting conversation he'd heard between Yamanaka Inoshi and Akimichi Chouji with his partner and roommate, and that partner passed it on to the one jounin that would interested in what Chouji was up to, who in turn mentioned it to his associates just as a certain pink-haired healer-in-training happened to be walking by the door...

Well, Ino only had herself to blame.

-

The mission turned out much easier than she expected. Not that it was a walk in the park either, but it didn't involve the extensive casing out, researching, infiltrations, and possible torture (of someone else, not her) she'd half expected it would.

One reason for that was because the client had provided a dearth of information on the layout of the house and the routines of its inhabitance. While perhaps a little more information than was strictly needed (among other things, Ino could have done without knowing that the client's now-former father-in-law liked to pee in the koi pond when he'd had one too many jars of sake), it did make planning her theft much less risky.

The second reason was a stroke of pure luck; the nobleman had chosen that day to take most of his household out on a hunting trip. This left the mansion with only a handful of attendants and guards.

The guards, however, turned out to better than decent; the best money can buy without hiring an actual ninja. Her worst moment had come after she had the statue in her hands and was attempting to become one with the ceiling above a bookcase while a previously off-duty guard wandered over to see what that shadow he saw earlier was.

She was able to distract him with a genjutsu and escape the other way while he was taking after the fleeting shape out of the corner of his eye. Once a safe distance from the mansion, she made a well-hidden cold-camp in the woods and slept for a few hours, comfortable in the thought that the fake-statue she left would fool them until at least sunrise.

Primary objective complete, Ino took her time getting back to Konoha. Partially to create a twisty, misleading path for any would be followers, and partially because the weather was pleasant and it was nice to be traveling alone for once. Because her fighting style and personal jutsu worked best with a team, it was uncommon for her to get solo missions and she wanted to enjoy it while she could.

Despite her dawdling, she made it back to Konohagakeru in the exact time allotted and returned the statue to the client, receiving much enthusiastic displays of gratitude in exchange. Ino lingered just long enough to sign off on the appropriate papers and receive her fee before heading toward home. As nice as it had been to get away for a while she was looking forward to meeting up with her family and enjoying a dinner that wasn't tough ninja rations.

She had left the main office and was distractedly tucking her payoff into one of her various vest pockets, when an arm shot out from the darkness of a doorway and dragged her inside.

-

Spatulas are generally inadequate for killing yourself with, but at this point, Chouji was willing to try anything.

The really frustrating part about the whole thing was that he knew all of Ino's favorite dishes. Just like he knew Shikamaru's and Asuma's and even, through a sequence of events that didn't bear repeating, that Sand-nin Kankuro's favorite foods. So it shouldn't be some great drama to prepare a dinner for her and their families.

But it _was_. It was a huge, gut tightening, cheek gnawing, considering suicide with an eggbeater and the herb pot on the windowsill, _tragedy_.

Because Ino didn't want to marry him.

Or maybe she did.

Chouji groaned and pulled the bread dough from its bowl, slapping it down onto the flour dusted counter and working it with strong fingers. The motion was relaxing, but too familiar to fully absorb his attention.

If becoming an Akimichi was the last thing Ino ever wanted in this lifetime - and it was, he _knew_ it was - then the worst possible thing he could do was fix her favorite foods. It implied affection; showed that making a special and delicious dinner for her was important to him. That he would be a good husband who cared about her tastes and sought to fulfill them. Meals were meaningful like that.

So he would have to cook something ordinary. Chicken instead of glazed pork. Snow peas instead of the water chestnuts she so adored.

Yes, that was the way to do it. The sane way.

But -

His full cheek was pulled in as he began chewing on the inside of it, the dough squishing pleasantly through his fingers.

If Ino did, impossibly and against all reason, want to be an Akimichi, want to be his wife...then making some plain, good-for-common-company dinner would break her heart. It would imply that he didn't care about her at all. A cold and heartless way to turn someone down. He couldn't do something like that his friend. Actually, even if her feelings weren't _that_ strong, a meeting between two families seeking to arrange an engagement was still a significant event and she might be just as furious with him for going half-heartedly at it.

But if she hated the engagement, then she'd hate him for showing any kind of encouragement for it.

And if she liked the engagement, then she'd hate him for discouraging it.

And even if he somehow managed to pick the right choice, she might just hate him anyway for making assumptions about her feelings since he obviously never asked her opinion on the subject.

He released the dough long enough to grip the edge of the counter and begin beating his head on it.

Ino was supposed to be coming home from her mission today, so he only had a few more hours to sort this mess out and start with the cooking. Unless she was delayed, but the slightly hope that inspired made him wince with guilt. Begin delayed on a mission was a bad thing. Especially since so often "delayed" really meant "not coming home this time".

Letting go of his death grip on the counter, Chouji rolled the dough up into a sloppy ball and transferred it to a waiting metal tray. There he shaped it into a round mound and dragged a knife across the top to create a crosshatch.

Why couldn't the rest of life be as uncomplicated as cooking? This thinking business was painful. No wonder Shikamaru complained about it so much.

Chouji went still.

Shikamaru.

Shikamaru was brilliant. A genius. He could do anything. He could solve this problem. He could solve all the female related problems in the world.

Thus energized with hope, Chouji covered the dough with a clean dishcloth and set out to request that Shikamaru do just that.

-

"How could _do_ this to me? After _all_ we went through together, you had to go behind my back and - "

"Oh right, make this all about _you_! As if everything in my life _has to_ have _something_ to do with Sakura - "

" - get engaged before I've even had a steady _boyfriend_ - "

"Our parents arranged it and we - "

" - you cheater that's the most underhanded way to - "

" - don't want to get married at all!"

"Oh yeah so like you can't tell them that and call the whole thing - "

"I can't!"

"Don't _deny_ it Ino-pig, you just want - "

"Don't you think I've tried! IT DOESN'T WORK!"

"...oh," Sakura's fury dissipated like a punched shadow clone, "Well, that's a problem. Why not?"

Ino let out a long sigh and rubbed above her eyebrow. "You know my parents. The more stubborn I get about something, the more determined they get to make me do it."

Sakura frowned and leaned against one of the empty desks. She looked very crisp and clean in her white, hoodless med-nin uniform, the only thing ruining the image was the messy braid her shoulder length hair was pulled back into. It'd never grown out as long as it had in her genin days and now spent most of its time tucked securely out of her way.

"I have to admit, I was surprised that it was Chouji," she said thoughtfully, folding her arms across her chest, "I always figured it'd be Shikamaru if anyone."

"What, the one that I'd marry or the one that my idiot father would engage me to? Actually, it would have been easier if it was Shikamaru," she admitted, taking the desk next to Sakura's, "He would have dealt with the whole mess in five minutes." Ino paused and added, "Or strung everyone along for months and then simply not shown up for the wedding."

"I don't know how you put up either of them," Sakura said dryly, wrinkling her nose to reconfirm her long established disapproval of the Nara and Akimichi boys.

Ino's glare became cold. "At least my boys don't try to kill each other or run away from the village at every given chance. Speaking of which, how are Naruto and Sasuke?"

"Ugh." Sakura threw her arms up into the air, making the sort expression one usually does when reminded of the pet dog you adore, but really wish would stop piddling on your shoes. "I don't even know. Sasuke's still in isolation from the last time he went missing and every time I try to talk to Naruto, he breaks into this long rant about some shirt he left at Sasuke's place and then runs away. I swear they never grew out of being twelve - hey! Don't change the subject you traitor!"

"This engagement nonsense had nothing to do with you and you need to stop making it your issue _right now_ - "

"That's not even my point, Ino-pig," Sakura overrode the sharp words with a flick of her hand, "You should have _told_ me about it yourself a week ago, then we could have already _had_ this conversation."

Ino stood up from her lean with a frustrated growl and stomped from one end of the empty classroom to the other, as much working off her annoyance as trying to get her brain functioning right again.

"Look, I didn't want to spread it around," she said finally spinning around to confront her childhood friend, "It was family business and I'd hoped it would blow over in a few days and no one would even have to remember it." Some of the angry tension eased out of her with sigh and her words became soft and sincere. "I never intended to keep it from you."

Silence stretched between them for a long moment, as two sets of equally pale eyes regarded each other. Finally, Sakura smiled and hoisted herself up onto the desk, hands crossing over her knees.

"So, what have you tried so far?" she asked encouragingly, ready to bend her bright mind to the task.

Ino joined her and explained Shikamaru's "misery is me" plan and in what ways it had been working, or not working, by the time she'd left for her mission. Sakura protested the passive-aggressive of it initially - she never engaged in behavior like that, not at all - but had to agree that there were some advantages to it.

"The only problem," Sakura said after a break in the conversation, kicking her heels back, "Is that if your mother gets really determined about it, she might deliberately ignore how you're acting under the impression that its what's best for you. Or just to spite you."

Playing with the blackboard eraser she'd snatched off the teacher's desk, Ino let out a disgusted and decidedly unfeminine snort. "I told you that she's already playing the victim in this. Pretty big change from just about tearing father's head off for even suggesting it."

"Can I ask you something?" Sakura said in a tone that implied it was going to be something Ino wouldn't like, and continued without waiting for an answer, "How do you really feel about Chouji?"

"He's my friend," Ino replied without hesitation, "That's part of why this is so hard. I don't want to hurt his feelings."

"Because he might like you," Sakura said promptly, pastel colored brows rising meaningfully.

"Because he's my friend and I don't want him thinking that my not wanting to marry him means I hate him," Ino clarified with a frown. "I mean, if he _encouraged_ this knowing I wasn't interested, I'll kick his ass, but if he didn't know, it could - "

"No, no, no, wait," Sakura interrupted, waving her hands around, "You want to protect his feelings _if_ he just likes you as a friend. But if he loves you and wants to marry you, you'll show no mercy? That makes no sense, Ino-pig."

"That wasn't what I - its not - " Ino trailed off, feeling an uncomfortable surge of emotion at the thought of Chouji seriously being in love with her.

It wasn't an unpleasant thought, really. If anything, it was something of a given; she was pretty and he was male, so of course he found her attractive at least. But Chouji _really_ wanting her - in the wanting-to-date way, the wanting-to-kiss way, the love-of-my-life way - made her stomach twist with nerves and her hands feel damp and clumsy. It was not something she ever wanted to deal with.

Because he was _Chouji_. Not anyone else she'd ever been attracted too, not the boys that flirted with her or followed her with hungry eyes - just Chouji.

She shook the moment off and dragged up her familiar mantle of righteous fury with the ease of long practice.

"Then if he'd felt that way, he should have told me about it ages ago! This is the worst possible way for me to find out, so now he's just gotta deal with my reaction to it!" She slammed down her foot like an indignant three year old and huffed dramatically.

Sakura shook her head in response and the conversation verged onto other subjects for a short while. As both of them had other duties for the rest of the day, it wasn't long before they were parting ways with several signed-in-blood promises to keep each other updated on events as they changed.

Ino was out the door and several yards from the building, before something occurred to her.

How the hell had Sakura found out?

The answer her mind supplied was immediate and the equivalent to tossing baking soda on a oil fire. Without a second thought, she was charging down the street straight toward the Nara clan household.

-

Half-way out his front door, Chouji had stopped and gone back for a little plastic box filled cookies his father had baked a few days ago. It didn't seem quite right to go demanding solutions from someone if you didn't bring them something to eat in compensation.

He didn't dawdle, but he didn't exactly rush going to meet up with his best friend. It seemed even less right to show up panting and desperate (like that last time he came over) than it did to show up without food.

Regardless, of all the things he'd readied himself for when he reached Shikamaru's house, the one thing that he hadn't even considered was to look up from his distracted contemplation of the street, to see Yamanaka Ino standing white faced and tight lipped almost directly across from him.

In that moment, Akimichi Chouji's entire life flashed before his eyes and his fear-numbed brain produced only one thought;

'Please don't let it hurt too much.'

-

Somewhere around that time, Shikamaru happened to look out one of the windows. After taking in the sight of the messy explosion about to occur less than twenty feet from his front door, he snuck out the back door and headed off for someplace safe to hide.

To be continued...


End file.
